Where To Meet Fat Women – Gabrielle Deydier’s book on obesity terrorized her French country. She told Stefanie Marsh how her life has been a battle against “grossophobia”, discrimination and abuse – until now.
‘I don’t want to apologize anymore’: Gabrielle Deydier wearing an Asos Curve jumpsuit and Wolf & Moon earrings. Stylist Hope Lawrie; hair Massanori Yahiro; makeup by Asami Kawai; shot at Studio Astre. Photo: Joanna Van Mulder/The Observer
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In August 2015, Gabrielle Deydier, 37 years old, went for a job interview that she passed with brioches. The job was for a teaching assistant position in a special school in Paris and the interview team, including the principal, impressed Gabrielle so much that they told her they were worried she would go for a job which pays better. . There was only one disappointing moment: it came at the end, as Gabrielle walked out the door. The principal said, “The teacher you will be working with can be quite difficult.” Gabrielle barely noticed, she was so excited about her new job.
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He soon learned that “difficult” was an understatement. “You are Gabrielle Deydier,” was the first thing the teacher in question said when they met. “I don’t work with fat people.” Gabrielle tried to laugh, but the stern teacher didn’t smile. “It’s not a joke,” he said.
Gabrielle has two degrees, a beautiful and outgoing personality and weighs 150kg, or 23½ stone. He also has the disadvantage of being French and living in France, which means that his physical appearance is important for everything, including his work. In France, he said (and all the facts of his experience seem to confirm), obesity is considered a self-destructive disorder. At any given time, 80% of French women think they are on a diet. In the south of the country, there is a thriving industry of gatric band (50,000 operations per year).
There is now a vegan phenomenon sweeping the earth – a way for some people to cover up food problems. “French women,” said Gabrielle, “pride themselves as the most feminine women in Europe. There is this sense that women must be perfect in every way.” It is a surprise that Gabrielle’s book was published,
For Gabrielle the last 12 months have been like waking up from a nightmare, if only nightmares were real and lasted twenty years. At one point during our meeting he cried – but the tears were of happy disbelief. Suddenly, at 38, Gabrielle, who has been told all her adult life that she is not suitable for work, is called a special hero. He was introduced to it
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The day before I met as an advisor under Anne Hidalgo, the mayor of Paris, Gabrielle called to ask if I was thinking of organizing the first anti-grossophobia (sizeism) day of the capital. Attempts have already been made to write a film and a novel. Italian
He wrote about it, and an Italian publisher picked up the book. English language rights have not been sold.
Juvenile Punishment: Gabrielle is a girl. He was a little underweight, but his doctor prescribed hormone therapy and he began to gain weight.
The meaning of fat in France is the first time for discussion in France. “I decided to write the book,” he said, “because I don’t want any more excuses for being here. Yes, obesity has doubled in the last 10 years, it’s too much. But we don’t discriminate against fat people by saying they can’t work and hurting them.”
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Gabrielle, unable to look at a picture of herself until six months ago, was preparing for this moment. “My publicist said, ‘You’re going to be on TV and it’s going to be hard. “So, together with a friend, we started to take pictures of me in the pool so that I accept what I look like in a swimsuit.” (On the beaches of France, disgruntled passers-by told him to “Please cover up.”) “Because I did it for a purpose, it had meaning.”
We planned to meet downstairs in the restaurant of a youth hostel in Paris, where he has lived since he lost his teaching job (and his income) due to his lack of commitment because he was not can lose weight. It is surprising to find a woman of her age, happy, intelligent – and now famous – living in temporary accommodation because she cannot afford a room in an apartment in Paris. It is a contradiction but he is a small person, despite his size, the fear in a meal.
Last week he received an e-mail: “Dear Gabrielle, after university I worked at Dior where I am now a senior. I hated women like you. All my life; my mother is my body , my mother. But now she is in my mother. the hospital, she died. She gave me your letter and it is the first time I understand how she must have felt. Thank you.” Gabrielle is sitting there looking very sad and a little helpless. “I know it’s crazy. People have to read a book to accept the pressure. I’m really sorry to have messages like this.”
There are also many strange parts in his life. Back to the teaching job, it ended like this: discrimination based on physical appearance is illegal in France, a law that seems not to have been approved by employers. After the awkward introduction, the “difficult” teacher Gabrielle introduces the class of six autistic children as: “The seventh disabled person in the room.” She accused Gabrielle of sweating profusely. The principal told Gabrielle, “If he has a problem with you, so do I.”
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“He said that it is not fair to the children because now the mark is double – because they are disabled and because they will be evaluated for having a fat teacher.” Gabrielle was asked to “think” about her future. “We’ll give you 30 days to prove your commitment.”
“We started taking pictures of me in the pool so I could accept what I looked like in a shirt”: Gabrielle can’t look at a picture of herself until six months ago. Photo: Caco Design
Stimulated? “I’m motivated to lose weight. To show your dedication to this job.” “They weren’t kids,” Gabrielle said. “They were beautiful. But I knew how difficult and complicated it was to deal with.” It was noted that: “You saw that he was not breathing when you went up the stairs to the third floor.”
Why didn’t he take the school to court? “I was afraid they would believe me,” he said. This is not an unusual situation. He experienced many such things. The doctor murmured: “There is so much skin here, I can’t see it”; The male partner denied that he bullied him because his wife was better: “Why would he try to force a fat woman?”
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“The police were very good, but they said: ‘You have the right to make a complaint, but we advised you because there will be no trial on your side.’
Interestingly, nothing similar happened to him at the University of Montpellier, where he flourished. “I was very happy,” he recalled. “I had a lot of friends and I left a lot. There were people who made fun of me, but it wasn’t too bad, it wasn’t discrimination. They are idiots, but not the system. This is when I started looking for a job” .
Obesity can happen to anyone and it started happening to Gabrielle at 17 years old. When she was young, she was athletic and muscular, quite heavy (at 65 kg, in one stone) – “pump”. Her mother decided that her daughter needed to take emergency measures when Gabrielle came home from a shopping trip with new pants in size 14, instead of the usual 12. weight – you spent money for no reason .’ However, my weight is not a big deal. “That changed when I went to a doctor.
The doctor thought Gabrielle’s weight loss was the worst and started hormone therapy. “I started having problems like bad skin all over my body and hair growing everywhere. And I gained a lot of weight: 30kg in three months. I was prescribed a lot of hormonal therapy, with a heavy diet of vegetables cooked and meat. The weight piled on. “It changed the way we thought about food. And I realized I was eating things. I never ate before, I hid food, stole money from my parents to buy food. All those fools.”
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Now he weighs 120 kg. – I wanted to die. Every day. I think I made a mistake.” His parents were not happy. “It’s a very difficult time.” He passed his certification twice, then passed. University means freedom.
What happened after his graduation? Gabrielle grew up with her diet. “I saw all my friends getting work experience before I did it, and I didn’t understand.
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